20240522 - Encounters with Korean American Elders

It might be a coincidence, but I've met several middle-aged Korean Americans who share some common traits. It’s hard to gauge their wealth; they seem to have some stability in their assets but aren't wealthy enough to stop working.

 

A recurring topic among them is their marriages. They tend to overly praise their marital life, which to me, seems like a desperate attempt to justify their choices. While they boast about how great their marriage is, I can often see a sense of regret in their eyes.

 

They seem desperate for company, particularly looking for younger people to drink with. A man who hasn’t built a successful network ends up lonely and without support.

 

After a few drinks, they often start to ramble.

 

They are still hung up on old Korean criteria like age and university prestige.

 

And quite often, they offer to help me with my life in America, but their offers are vague and abstract. To add to that, from my limited experience, the true Americans I’ve met so far don’t behave like this. Only the Koreans I've met tend to give advice in a preaching tone. When I mention unfamiliar ways of remembering route numbers, Americans seem to understand what I'm saying. In fact, openness, diversity, and understanding of diversity are what I see as truly American values.